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Basingstoke Bison Ladies Ice Hockey Team

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the true netminders rule book

if you are wondering why netminders are sometimes so weird,
you will understand after you read this!

(1) slash, hook and spear every opposing player who comes within 3 feet of your crease, then point and laugh at your team-mates when they have to go to the box for you.

(2) after you cover the puck and the ref blows the whistle quickly put the puck in your shorts before the ref can pick it up, then tell him to come and get it him self.

(3) get into a shouting match with your stick, then tell the ref you refuse to play until your stick apologises.

(4) if your on the bench start giving away all the sticks on the rack to the fans sitting behind you.

(5) every time the opposing team scores, remove one piece of your equipment.

(6) every time that an announcement is made over the P.A system, drop to your knees and start screaming" not the voices again"

(7) fill your team mates water bottles with vodka, then see who can skate the best.

(8) during a face off stand next to your defence man as if your a skater too.

(9) use hockey tape, and put a large bullseye in the middle of you chest before you go to your crease..

(10) if your family gets kits washing duty, when no one is watching throw a couple of red socks in the washing machine with the white home shirts.

(11) before the game starts, go to the opposing teams locker room start crying and say " please don’t score, my coach beats me every time I let the puck in.